” If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.” – Stephen Stills

Even In my crazy teen years, when this song came out,
I knew it was all kinds of wrong.

I loved the song. I understood the sentiment. I tried “free love”.

It just made my commitment-phobic world even worse.
I already had a hard time understanding relationships.
I was either too co-dependent  ( I need you to live ).
Or I was too independent. ( I don’t need anyone ).

Two sides of the same coin.

Love confused. Relationship Impaired. Whatever you want to call it.
I finally learned what my problem was.

I didn’t love myself.

Not really.

I’m talking about “real ” love .

Not the Narcissistic kind. ( False Love ) I hung out there for awhile.
Or the Spiritual kind. ( Love of Self ) Which is good and got me out of the Narcissism.
But the Human kind. Really loving yourself at the core, human flaws and all.

That was trickier.

I jumped into my Spiritual Self and could love myself in there.
Because after all, what’s not to love?
My Spiritual Self is very loving. I mean VERrrry Lov~ing.
This inner self is wise, forgiving, non-materialistic, intuitive and makes miracles happen.
You need to connect with this Inner Self.

But guess who this Inner Self kept bumping into?

As soon as the meditations would end.
Or the affirmations began to sound stale.
Who did I bump into when Reality’s push came to shove?

That’s right, my Human Self.  Who had human needs, got her feelings hurt,
was really pissed off sometimes and all those ego things we aren’t suppose to be, right?

Oh it gets so complicated.

Bottom-line: Your Inner Spiritual Journey takes you up the mountain.

Where you learn essential Spiritual truths.

But the rest of the journey, is coming down that mountain.
Back here, where you actually need to apply what you’ve learned in Earth-time baby.

Guess where you need to start with all that Spiritual stuff ?
That’s right, YOU.

That Human ” you “, you probably went up the mountain to escape in the first place.

Loving yourself means getting intimate. ( Love who you’re with is you. ).
Spending time with yourself and getting to know who you are.
What you’re thinking, how you feel and what you need.

Instead of numbing yourself with endless pursuits and/or mindless affirmations
that don’t even touch the real core of your being.

( Oh how we numb ourselves, let me count the ways ).

During this discovery process, you won’t like everything you find.  That’s ok.
You’ll also find things which will amaze you.

Just Know:

Until you love yourself,
you really can’t love anyone else.
And no one else can love you .

Not really.

It’s a daily process. Some days are better than others.
But it’s how you begin the magic.
The Magic of Creating a Reality You Love.

And one that loves you back.

 

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3 Responses to Love The One You’re With + Other Options

  1. Shojtes05 says:

    I just wanted add that after reading your article, I’m still crying. I really related -especially the part about going to get away from our human self. It really wowed me!
    me.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Thank you Judith. I really appreciate your comments.

  3. Shojtes05 says:

    I read your article and I’m still crying. I really related – especially the part about going to get away from our human self. It really wowed me.

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