I don’t know how it’s been for you.   

Pat Novak / Feed The Love

But if your reality has been anything like mine, it’s full of change. I’m not sure who I am or what I really want anymore.

I have a general idea, a general direction. But the vastness of the future is pretty amazing. It looks like anything is possible.

While I am someone who knows a lot of things, it’s the unknown which attracts me now. My life is more about following my intuition, rather than old patterns. Listening to my inner guidance, rather than old fears or ways to manipulate reality to match old beliefs. 

I pay closer attention to incongruities now. 

You know, when your reality doesn’t match the way you think.

An example of this would be, if you see yourself as slim, but the mirror clearly shows you’re fat. 

You say you really want a relationship, but you haven’t dated in years.

You say you want to be rich, but you can barely pay your bills.

You believe you are spiritual, but are still very afraid of the world.

These are incongruities. You image doesn’t fit your reality.

Usually, it’s because there is some hidden agenda behind what you say you believe.

To find this, you need to be willing to be very honest with yourself.

This is what I ask of my clients. It is what I ask of myself.

Not to judge and make you bad or wrong. Just to be willing, to look at what you are really attached to being and/or creating.

Your reality doesn’t lie.

In your incongruities, you can find where to focus.

You can find the next step, the now what.

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7 Responses to Now What?

  1. Sheila Sornsin says:

    Pat, that is so true, your reality doesn't lie, so simple, yet so profound. It opens me up to looking at what I say I want and yet block it from coming at the same time. Thank you for another wake up call.

  2. jenniferpeek says:

    It’s funny…in all the time that I’ve thought about my current reality not matching up with what I want, I had never framed it as an incongruity. What I love about the way you have captured it is that an incongruity can be big or small – and it can be about any part of your life. It can be something it just slightly off – or totally out of control. It’s such a great way to frame the opportunities!

  3. Laura Gates says:

    Pat, thanks for sharing this, I can particularly relate to the not knowing piece, the allowing piece. I had a bunch of things planned over the next six months that I just cancelled. I was going too fast, taking on too much and felt I had lost the original goal for what I was doing. I decided to hunker down and reassess from now until the end of the year. That desire to know, have it all figured out, is so tempting. I like this idea of incongruity. I need some work there! I have also noticed that when I go through big shifts it takes a while for my body to catch up to the leaps and bounds, so I am trying to be especially nice to it these days!

  4. I to have shifted to following my intuition and listening to my inner guidance. When my reality doesn’t match with my goals I just figure that the Universe has different goals in mind for me. I have not looked for areas where my image doesn't fit my reality or incongruities, but I will now! Thanks. 😉

  5. Jenny Shih says:

    I see incongruencies as a sign that it's time to move in a new direction or that I'm being called to expand. If I want to be healthy yet stuff my face with oreos, that desire to be healthy is calling me to expand and grow. You are right–it's not about making ourselves wrong or judging. It's about seeing the reality of our desires, what we're being called to do, and what needs to change so we can get there.

  6. Lea Lopriore says:

    I see incongruities as a way to recognize what you are really fearful about. Being able to not only recognize that you are doing this to yourself but be willing to take action against it takes great strength and self reflection. Inner junk that most people don't really want to deal with. Thanks Pat for posting a truth that most people don't want to recognize!

  7. JewelsBranch says:

    Your post brought up this question for me. I wonder how much our perception of what we think society expects from us impacts that incongruity? For instance, when we say believe we are spiritual is it because we think society expects us to put a check mark next to “attends church”?

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